A Lesson in Birthdays

A lesson in birthdays, and the gifts that we rarely allow ourselves to receive.  Often, these entries seem to coincide with the changing tides of my life.  As things ebb and flow and transform and meld and I feel changed, or renewed, or reset on whatever path it is that I have been destined.  And so, again, I write on what it means to have a birthday.  What it means to receive.  What it means to allow yourself to be gifted, in so many senses of the word.

My actual birthday was a Wednesday.  It was a mid-week, non-exciting, non-monumental age shift day.  I didn’t open any presents.  I went to work, I didn’t expect much from the day.  My boyfriend and I had seen my parents the night before and we had laughed over tacos and shared memories and each others presence (slight bend of the truth, my mom gave me a beautiful necklace she had made me and I had been coveting for a few months at dinner that night). I had thrown together a last minute dinner with a few available people on my birthday, and something larger, albeit still casual, later in the week.  It really wasn’t a big deal.  I had told my boyfriend all I wanted was a nice card, and while I only half meant that, I honestly felt that just having him in my life was a better 'present' than anything I could be given.  I had decided that large expectations are seldom met, and just to accept whatever it was the universe wanted to offer me on that day, as I celebrated my birth. 

I mused over my morning coffee about what an odd thing that was… to celebrate your birth.  It really should be a day more of gratitude that of being ‘gifted.’ And as I thought on this, I remember that last April on my father’s birthday I was struck by how every person that wrote on his facebook wall expressing ‘Happy Birthday’ he responded to.  EVERY person.  He acknowledged them, or sometimes just ‘liked’ it.  And I thought that was so interesting.  So who he was.  So who he had CHOSEN to be.  That he was grateful.  And I decided to try to do the same.  To thank those people that remembered to say ‘Happy Birthday.”  And I knew many of them just saw on their calendar it was my birthday.  Often I do the same.  But still, it’s kind.  It’s a nice thing to do.  And all those people that felt like telling me ‘Happy Birthday,’ they were all in my life for a reason.  I had interacted with them at some point in time.  We had shared something.  So why not acknowledge what that means.  My gratitude for those moments. 

So I decided to try.  Shortly, my day seemed like it was full of just writing ‘Thank you…!’  Like I couldn’t keep up with all the dinging on my computer.  But what a beautiful thing.  To chase the minutes of my day saying ‘Thank you’ and sometimes more… sometimes saying congratulations on your wedding/engagement/pregnancy/baby-creation-of-life.  Sometimes just saying ‘Thank you... it’s been too long.’  And so my birthday was filled with the gift of gratitude.  With expressing joy for the relationships I have had.  For the people who have touched my life in some way.  We should all be so lucky to have a day filled with communicating, even if just for a line on a computer, a sentiment of gratitude for those who have made our lives that much better… because that means that our lives are that much better. 

And I did get presents later that week.  Beautiful meaningful gifts.  And cards that make me misty-eyed and content and touched.  And I got mid-day flowers and Marina Sub (amazing).  And there were hugs, and smiles, and red-lipstick-kissed Lottery tickets, drinks in coconuts, and mexican food meals, a scarf I have yet to take off, and so-so-so-much love.  And I did have a larger celebration a few days later.  And I was humbled by how many people decided to come and be present.  At the cards I received thanking my for the joy I bring to them.  For the people that complimented the person I am trying to become.  For the acknowledgement they gave to me about my character traits that they valued.  And I am SO grateful. I am so grateful for the love I have received this year, in this life.  So THANK YOU.  Thank you a million times.  A facebook response could never do my gratitude justice for the gifts that you have all given me.

 

So, so much love.  More than I can ever express. 

Rio

11/14/2012